Hi everyone, I have a legitimate question for everyone? Who has had more of a late season collapse? Baker Mayfield, the Ravens or yours truly. It is a close call but the fact that I am only four games over .500 after having an opportunity to meet my goal of 58 percent for the season a few weeks ago it has to be me. So I am going to make my picks and tell you why I’m making my picks and why you should pick the exact opposite of who I picked? Deal? Cool.. let’s picks some games, it’s Week 18. Yes Week 18, it’s a real thing let’s go.
SATURDAY FOOTBALL IS REAL
chiefs -10.5 over BRONCOS
Why: The Broncos are the kid in the last day of school. The teacher isn’t going to be their problem next year so why are they going to listen to what he has to say. The Chiefs are angry like my wife when I over cook her steak. Andy Reid and Steve Spagnuolo has been riding the Chefs in practice all week long. Expect the Chiefs game plan to be tightened up like bow. Reason I’ll stink: The Broncos do have an awesome defense still. Plus they got embarrassed last week and are a bunch of grown men that will play with pride and spoil the Chiefs parade.
Chiefs Win 31-13
cowboys -4.5 over EAGLES
Why: The Eagles are only going to jump up a spot in the wildcard standings with a win (and that is only if the Niners lose). So coach Nick Sirianni is probably going to treat this game as a glorified exhibition. Meanwhile in the Big D, owner Jerry Jones said the Cowboys are playing to win!!! Plus Dak Prescott needs to look more like a good NFL Quarterback (not something we can say he has been recently with a straight look on on our faces). Reason I’ll stink: If Gardner Minshew does play a lot how can I got against Jorts and Mustaches, what the hell is wrong with me. If you need to know the answer to that, it is apparently a lot.
Cowboys Win 27-17
SUNDAY MORNING
packers -4 over LIONS
Why: What’s Love got to do with it versus my name is not Susan Boyle. With no Jared Goff or Aaron Rodgers it’s the battle of backups and Jordan Love still has far more talent and support than Tim Boyle. So even with four points to lay I am still going to take the power of cheeeesssseee. Reason I’ll Stink: Because this game means zero to Green Bay and Jordan Love may just stink more than Munster cheese. But it’s the Lions come on guys… But the Lions did beat the Cardinals.. you be quiet sir!!!
Packers win 24-17
JAGUARS +15.5 OVER colts
Why: Over two touchdowns with COVID Carson. Are you crazy people? The Colts have been a good football team this season but asking Carson Wentz to win by over two touchdowns is a big ask even against the crap tastic Jacksonville Jaguars. Plus it’s COVID Carson with all of the pressure on him. He wins and the Colts are in, he loses and the Colts are well, not in. Reason I’ll Stink: Have you seen the Jags play recently? They lost by 40 to the Pats last week. Trevor Lawrence couldn’t complete a pass to his wife is she was laying next to him in bed. I’m sticking with the points before I change my mind.
Colts Win 28-15 (Jags cover)
TEXANS +10.5 OVER titans
Why: I cannot lay this many points with the Titans. They still do not have Derrick Henry back and even though D’Onta Foreman has been serviceable I do not confuse D’Onta Foreman with Derrick Henry (and you shouldn’t either they are different guys). Plus the Texans have been very frisky recently. They already beat the Titans in Tennessee so they will not be afraid or intimidated. Just look in the eyes of Davis Mills and you see a stone cold killer ready to break hearts. Reason I’ll Stink: The Titans even banged up are still better than the Texans and they just beat the Dolphins 34-3 Drew come to your senses. To that I say you mom should come to her senses, I told you!!
Titans Win 23-20 (Texans Cover)
GIANTS +7 OVER wft
Why: Why are going to take this Washington unprofessional football team laying a touchdown over anyone. Have you seen them play football this season? Did you know their only victory by 7 or more this season was over the Bucs (yeah really in 17 weeks only game they won by more than a touchdown was against Tom freaking Brady suck it Tommy Boy!!!). A team that quit on the season two weeks ago is going to kick ass all of a sudden. Reason I’ll Stink: Have you seen the Giants play recently?? They are making the Jets look like a Super Bowl contender. Gosh this game stinks let’s move on.
Giants Win 15-14
RAVENS -4.5 OVER steelers
Why: Because this line does not make sense to me and when a line does not make sense go with the side it doesn’t make sense with. Plus the Ravens seem to be owed one from the football gods here with all of the heartbreaking losses they have had recently (five game losing streak with four of the losses being by a combined five points can’t make this up). Plus if anyone was watching ESPN Monday evening Ben Roethlisberger retired that evening yet is still going to pretend like he’s playing quarterback this week. Reason I’ll Stink: These are even teams at this point so why is the line 4.5? It doesn’t make sense and your getting free points and Drew is crazy for taking Baltimore. My response is, yes I know!!
Ravens Win 26-20
bengals +6 over BROWNS
Why: Because I’m going down to Allen town. I’m getting six points with the dead pan Browns. The Bengals are a better team. Sorry Cleveland, not trying to be mean. Because I’m going down to Allen town. Brandon Allen Vs Case Keenum is a slight advantage to Keenum but the rest of the team/mentally is a massive advantage Bengals. I’m taking the points here and think the Bengals could get their 11th win over a team that is clearly ready to play golf. Reason I’ll Stink: Injured and grumpy Baker Mayfield is not playing, it’s Case Keenum who is a competent backup. This is a huge advantage for the Browns who should have went to Keenum like six weeks ago.
Bengals Win 24-21
VIKINGS -5.5 OVER bears
Why: Kirk Cousins has been cleared to play and will start on Sunday against the Bears. The Vikings looked pathetic on Sunday with Sean Mannion behind center as I insulted Kirk Cousins on this very blog saying Sean Mannion can’t be that much worse can he? For saying that I want to apologize to Kirk Cousins, Kirk Cousins family, Lizzo who mentions the Minnesota Vikings in her hit song Truth Hurts, and of course Justin Jefferson who had to try to catch those ducks thrown by Sean Mannion last week. Reason I’ll Stink: The Bears are every bit as good as the Vikings at this point and Andy Dalton can hang with Kirk Cousins right?? This game is dumb, let’s move on.
Vikings Win 31-21
LATE WINDOW
DOLPHINS +6.5 OVER patriots
Why: I love the Phins in this spot. They already beat the Pats way back in Week 1 and once Bill Belichick realizes he’s not winning the AFC East he may call off the dogs as the cliche would go. I just think this line is ridiculous as do you really think the Pats should be favored by 11 if this game was in New England? No of course not and don’t you dare lie and say you do. But Drew Tua was awful in the rain last week in the rain in Nashville?? Well it’s going to be far less cold and a little less rainy in Miami on Sunday. My main point is can you see the Pats moving the ball a lot of an angry Miami defense, yeah I thought so!! Reason I’ll stink: Because the Patriots don’t want to lose to the Dolphins twice. Bill Belichick hates losing to former assistants. The Patriots are the better team (even if they just a slightly better version of the Dolphins). Yeah I’m winning this one and you know I am!!
Dolphins win 20-17
jets +16.5 over BILLS
Why: Too many points, too many points, too many points, too many points. They are being called the New York Whiskers these days. Why are they being called the New York whiskers Drew? Because they are frisky like a cat!! Zach Wilson has strung together three solid games in a row as well so let’s keep riding the kid’s late season momentum here. Josh Allen and the Bills have been somewhat sloppy against some weaker competition at times recently. Exhibit A the game against the Falcons last week. Reason I’ll Stink: The Bills have demolished bad teams all year and don’t let the Jets recent play take you off their scent, they are a bad team. The Bills lost to the Jags though (they don’t demolish all bad teams) so suck it I’m still taking the points!!
Bills Win 30-20 (Jets Cover)
panthers +8.5 over BUCS
Why: The Bucs are an episode of real housewives right now (or just enter your ridiculous reality TV of choice they all work). Antonio Brown and Bruce Arians saga is one that is going to end ugly likely for all parties. Maybe Brian Arians grabs himself a cocktail with an umbrella and rides off into the Sunset after the Bucs likely get eliminated from the postseason. Tom Brady has made miracles happen but if the Bucs repeat as Champs this year under these current circumstances let’s just elect Tom Brady as the greatest human being to ever walk the Earth (remember God loves Tom Brady). Plus do the Bucs care about seeding anyways this screams being a close weird game. Reason I’ll Stink: Pretty simple, have you seen the Panthers play recently, they suck!!
Bucs Win 27-24 (Panthers Cover)
CARDINALS -6.5 OVER seahawks
Why: I love the Cardinals in this game to win big. Rondale Moore and James Conner are set to return which gives the Cards a speed and power element that made them so unstoppable in the first two months of the season. Plus Kyler and Kliff got their mojo back last week, they just had to go home to get it. Plus the Seahawks are the likely most recent example of a disappointing team that punts on the last game of the season because they don’t know how to play with nothing on the line. Reason I’ll Stink: Russell Wilson is still really good and he shows up to play and try’s to spoil the Cards pre playoff party.
Cardinals Win 34-20
49ers +4.5 over RAMS
The way Deebo Samuel is talking about how Jimmy Garoppolo looks in practice it sure as heck appears like Jimmy is going to suit up on Sunday right? There are 49ers fans clamoring for Trey Lance to start this week and my response is stop it please!! Trey Lance would get chewed up and spit out by this defense. He could be great and certainly is in a fantastic situation but in a game the 49ers NEED to win you have to ride with Jimmy G for this game and there is no real debate about it. Plus Matthew Stafford like to throw pick sixes, and the 49ers are the Rams daddy (five wins in a row). This is all lining up for a Matthew Stafford to Odell Beckham late touchdown for the second straight week to win it and to break the Cards and Niners fans hearts everywhere, why does L.A get all the nice things. Reason I’ll Stink: Lance either starts of Jimmy G is still hurt and is throwing wobblers all over the field which the Rams secondary catches a couple of those wobblers and the Rams roll.
Rams Win 28-27 (49ers cover)
FALCONS +3.5 OVER saints
Why: If you have never seen the Secret Base history of the Atlanta Falcons on Youtube you must watch it (a seven part series that’s about 8 hours so take some time out schedule for this but will be well worth it). It is a well done numbers based (with a touch of romance in there) view on maybe the weirdest (Bills fans may say hold our beer) team to ever put an NFL logoed uniform on. In that documentary they touch on the Falcons Saints rivalry (which if you have ever been to the South you know is fierce and real). These teams hate each other, their fans hate each other, you can’t even tell anyone your friends with someone who roots for the other team. So in another weird Falcons season the Falcons have a chance to ruin the Saints season and eliminate them from the postseason. You really think Matt Ryan and company are not going to take advantage of this, children please!! Reason I’ll Stink: The Falcons are 7-9 but they stink!! The Saints are the better team and Taysom Hill and company are going to prove it. Remember the Saints hate the Falcons too.
Falcons Win 19-17
VEGAS FINALE
RAIDERS +3 OVER chargers
Why: Even I sometimes can be a prisoner of the moment. The Raiders have lost their coach to an email scandal, their speed receiver to a tragic accident while under the influence of alcohol, and two members of their secondary (also to DUI’s). They have had more highs and lows then an episode of jersey shore yet they are 9-7 and are finishing their first full season with fans in their new home in Vegas with a stand alone win and in game at their death star. To make this story even more crazy their opponent is the Chargers and for anyone who watches football you know how unpredictable and weird this Chargers team always is (no matter the time or year). Derek Carr has maybe cast a sorcerers spell on me but I cannot go against Vegas in this game. Reason I’ll Stink: Justin Herbert is awesome at football and this is real life and fairy tales are for the movies. Thanks for reading and for supporting my blog. More fun material coming for the playoffs so stay tuned!!
Raiders Win 27-24
Last Week: 5-11
Season: 128-124-2