Hi everyone, we are back for another season of football. Last season I had a little bit of a drop off in what ended up being an extremely weird season. I’m psyched about the 2022 season though and think it’s going to be even more weird. Just follow me my friends and if you don’t at least you can read my funny takes on these games. Well let’s get to it shall we!!
BLOODY MARY WINDOW
JETS +6.5 OVER ravens
Joeeee Flacco!!!!! You don’t believe in Joe Flacco do you? What about stud rookie running back Breece Hall?? What about an underrated fast defense who has the Sauce Gardener now in the back end. Okay well then maybe why I like the Jets as a live dog is this. Ravens had a weird offseason and they just offered me a contract to play wide receiver. I love the Ravens as the season goes along but I’m taking the propeller’s and the points, why not let’s have em win outright!! Week 1 is always weird.
Jets Win 23-21
saints -5.5 over FALCONS
Saints and Falcons games are imminently weird but I like the Saints bigly here! Why do I trust in Crab legs Winston so much here? It’s more that I like the Saints defense… oh wait Marcus Mariota just got sacked again by Cameron Jordan as I was writing this. How many points could the Falcons score if Shamus Jameis doesn’t throw the ball to their DB’s?? 10, 13, 14… wait I was just trusting Jameis Winston not to turn the ball over, let me chalk this down before I change my mind.
Saints win 23-13
patriots +3.5 over DOLPHINS
Like the value here, some games are stay away’s and this may be that but Drewsports picks on all 272 games and does not shy away from it!!!!!! Do I think the swimming mammals will be better than the Patty cakes this season? I do!! do I think Mac Jones is going to play more like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with no help than an elite Quarterback? I do!! But Bill Belichick has been owned by the Fins in recent years and you know he doesn’t like anyone to be his daddy, take the points maybe a small dose on the Pats moneyline, boring ball control taking the Pats home, blah blah blah.
Patriots win 19-17
PANTHERS OVER browns
This line has dropped all the way to a pick em as public money is going on the Brownies. Here is my question? The schedule makers must have known Baker Mayfield was going to the Panthers huh? Baker baker money maker has gone from vastly overrated to supremely underrated. I think Baker plays best when he’s pissed and boy is he pissed. The target he’s pissed at is right in front of him. This is my favorite bet of the week and now I have em at a pick em. Give me the kitties!!! Meow!!
Panthers Win 27-17
steelers +6.5 over BENGALS
Live dog here, Steelers are plus 330 to make the playoffs. Mike Tomlin is going to have his first losing season. Mike Trubisky plays football like a dog flailing in mud. The Bengals just played and almost won the Super Bowl, blah blah blah. Guess what my friends, I like the Steelers to win this game outright. Bengals just improved their offensive line, oh wait T.J Watt just got his 4th sack of the game on Joe Burrow, believe in the burgh, at least for today. They will be better than you think!!
Steelers win 24-17
BEARS +6.5 OVER 49ers
I’m just taking big dogs in Week 1. Week 1 is weird and I do like the Bears defensive front, it’s really the only unit that is above average on this team. Trey Lance is as inexperienced as I am at repairing airplanes (I am not a mechanic fyi). I think this game is going to be uglier my handwriting (anyone who’s read my blog will agree). I can’t take the Bears moneyline but gun to my scrotum I’m taking the points here. Take the under and otherwise stay far away!!
49ers win 16-12 (Bears cover)
LIONS +4.5 OVER eagles
Drew the Eagles won in Detroit 44-6 last year and bullied the Cats all around the field!!! Take the birds here they are just better? Well that was in Week 8 of last season. Did you see how MY LIONS finished last season!!! That’s right the Lions upset my redbirds and Vikings and the sort of Aaron Rodgers led Packers. I’m biting knee caps here. Lions are the team controlling the clock with D’Andre oh so Swift leading the charge. Give me the Lions to win an unexpected fun game, don’t believe well that’s a you problem!! roar!
Lions win 31-27
TEXANS +7 OVER colts
I like taking the points in Week 1 especially with all of these home underdogs. Davis Mills finished the last five games of 2021 with a 102 passer rating. The former Palo Alto tree can sling it my friends. The Colts are going to win a lot of games but are they really that dynamic?? I do not think so and I think team Tejas can put up a fight as they did very often at the end of last season (ask Chargers fans about that!!). I still think the Colts win this game outright I just like the number here, Texans will be frisky like a kitty cat all season and not get blown out that often, you watch and see my friends, did I say that right??
Colts win 26-20 (Texans Cover)
COMMANDERS -2.5 OVER jags
This game is just trash, like the gum on the sidewalk that gets stuck on your shoe trash. I get all of the Urban Meyer was the worst coach ever Doug Pederson is going to make the Jags the most improved team in football chatter around the sports media. I like the Jags to improve too but I also this the Washington football team is not going to be as brutally bad as people think. I think Carson Wentz has something to prove as the world pours gasoline on his corpse. I’ll take Washington to win an ugly one.
Commanders win 22-17
WINGS AND BEER WINDOW
CARDINALS +6 OVER chiefs
This line has jumped up quite high for a public that doesn’t love the Chiefs like they normally do. It makes sense to me though the Cardinals for a team that didn’t play anyone in the preseason sure is still pretty banged up, Rondale Moore, Zach Ertz, J.J Watt, Markus Golden… Well have to see who’s on the field and who’s not. I just think Kyler Murray is going to be transcendent this season and I love him getting six at home. Chiefs are better but I think this will be a very close game as the Chiefs are still working out some of the kinks of their massive roster turnover this offseason. Maybe a homer pick, I’ll take the redsea in a shocking upset.
Cardinals win 31-30
CHARGERS -3.5 OVER raiders
I’m about to have two overreaction games (spoiler Packers at Vikings coming up is the other). I think the Chargers destroy the Raiders in this game which makes the world think the Chargers are going to win the Super Bowl. The Chargers are healthy had a great camp. They may also have the best roster in football. The Bolts are going to lose some dumbfounding games this season but I think they will beat a very flawed Raiders team by a lot on Sunday. Horrible spot for Vegas here.
Chargers win 38-20
VIKINGS +1.5 OVER packers
Remember when the Packers lost 38-3 to the Saints in Week 1 last season and the word though the Pack were going to fall apart only to go 13-2 over the next 15 games. I can see that scenario happening again here, lots of new pieces in Pack land, and the Pack have a ton of injuries up front on both sides of the ball. I love the Vikings in this spot as the Vikings are the Chargers of the north. All this talent and ability and will tease you just to screw you over at the most inopportune time, but not on this day. Like the Vikings big here, as Aaron would say though Packer nation after this game, relax.
Vikings win 34-17
TITANS -5.5 OVER giants
I’m finally taking a bigger favorite this week. This is more of an indictment of the lack of talent the Giants have, especially on the offensive line and the disrespect the Titans have been getting from the betting public. So the Titans were the number one seed in the AFC last year and they are less than a TD in favorite in Week 1 against a 4-13 team that by all accounts did not improve themselves in the offseason. I’ll take the Titans to strip sack Daniel Jones 40 times and cruise to a two touchdown win, sidenote Derrick Henry is back and healthy!!
Titans Win 27-13
SUNDAY NIGHT
bucs -2.5 over COWBOYS
This is a fascinating opening Sunday night game. I think the line is pretty fair. The Lone Star’s offensive line is less healthy than me after eating spicy food. But the Bucs offensive line somehow might be even less healthy than the Cowboys. Tom Brady had a weird offseason which maybe proves he’s finally going through a midlife crisis or something to that effect. But I just cannot trust a bad offensive line against a good defensive front. I think Dak Prescott may spend more time on his back than a person at a tanning salon. For that reason I cannot in good faith take Dallas even as a home dog.
Bucs Win 27-24
MONDAY NIGHT
SEAHAWKS +6.5 OVER broncos
If this game was in Week 5 or 6 I think the caballo’s would win by 30. But this game being in Week 1 I really like Pete Carroll’s fake soccer dad montage to have an effect on a team that will be overmatched most weeks this season. Plus don’t forget that Pete Carroll know’s Russell Wilson’s shortcomings. Play a lot of cover 2 to take away his moon ball, keep everything in front of them, tackle tackle tackle. Plus could Geno Smith and Tyler Lockett maybe make a couple of plays to give what will be a rowdy crowd a reason to cheer. Yes I think so, but Russell Wilson is still one of the most clutch Quarterback’s in the history of football and there is no way he’ll lose to the Hawks in his Burros debut. Think Broncos squeak it out late but I like the Green/Blue Birds at this number. This should be a fun weird game.
Broncos win 24-20 (Seahawks Cover)
This Week: 0-1
Last Season: 140-141-3