Hi everyone, my picks as of late have been so bad that there are comments about me being cancelled. I know 2022 is the time of cancel culture and due to my 0-4 divisional round record that has me peddling on the streets for money to be able to wager on Championship week everyone is going to go opposite of me this week so I will respond with this.. I don’t blame you!! You should read this column just to know who to pick against (whoever I pick, pick against them). I am going to finish with a losing record for the first time ever if I don’t finish 3-0 so let’s give it whirl and try to finish 3-0. Maybe I can do Olivia Newton John’s Physical next on Youtube with me dressed with a curly blonde wig and spandex to look like a 1980’s soccer mom as a punishment for my ultimate suckage as of late. If you agree please comment below, thanks for reading and good luck to your teams and picks.
CHIEFS -7.5 OVER bengals
Unlike my NFC picks I do not think I picked the wrong side necessary in my AFC picks last week. Josh Allen did play awesome and go tit for tat with Patrick Mahomes. We did hear you right Rooney, Joe Burrow got sacked 9 times (9 times?? Yes 9 times) by the Titans ferocious front last week. All of these events be damned because Evan McPherson happened. Ryan Tannehill throwing the ball to the team in strips happened. Lastly, Patrick Mahomes happened. Mahomes primarily is why I must pick the Iron Chefs of pounding touchdowns (a little Superbad humor for you) even though they are laying more than a TD this week. Here is the Chiefs point totals after a meh Sunday night showing against the Denver Donkeys in week 13. 48, 34, 36, 31, 28, 42 and 42. In other words the Chiefs dynamic offense is back baby!! I just cannot see this banged up Bengals front getting enough stops to hang around throughout the game. Joe Burrow is more deadly with a football than Kevin McCallister is a paint bucket (a little Joe Burrow look alike humor for you) but the Chiefs offense scores on their first two drives of the second half sandwiched with Chris Jones sacking Burrow on a big down to halt a Bengals drive inbetween and what was a close game early turns into a Chiefs rout by the 4th quarter. Three straight Super Bowls for Andy Reid and company, I am the walrus coo coo cachoo!!
Chiefs Win 41-24
49ers +3.5 over RAMS
I was dead wrong on my NFC picks last week and I”ll wear it. I should have seen Aaron Rodgers playing it more safe than a shy boy on a first date. I should have seen the Packers special teams (a catasthrophy all season) forgetting to block up the middle on punts and kickoffs. I should have seen the Bucs banged up secondary getting shredded like provolone. As for this game in so fee I just see it being a field goal game either way between two teams that know each other like they have been married for decades. Does the fact this line has sat at 3.5 all week concern me? You bet your sweet blueberry muffin it does. But let’s get down to brass tax here ladies and gents. The 49ers have beat the Rams six games in a row. Matthew Stafford struggles against teams that get pressure with only four. Guess what my friends. The 49ers don’t blitz and get pressure with only four, Nick Bosa will be in Matty S. nightmares. On the other side Von Miller has been a force to be reckon with as of late like he was back in the day’s when Olivia Rodrigo was in Junior High and Kanye West wasn’t yet deemed nuts (well actually I think he was already deemed nuts at that time so forget that comment). But an over aggressive Rams defense struggles with misdirection and zone blocking schemes. Guess what the Niners do very well? Deebo Samuel has also been a nightmare for well… everyone but especially the Rams. All this being said I will say that Stafford plays well for a third straight game and Matthew Gay kicks a field goal from within his range (which is anything under 47 yards) and the Rams make the Chiefs have to play a second straight road game Super Bowl. Sorry Nick Wright you cannot have all the nice things in life.
Rams Win 26-23 (49ers Cover)